Ticket to Pittsburg

A Ticket To Pittsburg

There was a shy, young soldier who had just gotten his first leave and was heading home to see his family.  When he got to the train station, he walked up to the ticket window to get his ticket to Pittsburg.

But when he got there, he saw that the ticket agent was a fantastically beautiful, young girl.  Not only that, her dress was cut so low and he could see the tops of her breasts.

He put his money down, but he was so flustered by the girl’s beauty that he said, “I’d like a picket to Titsburg.”  Mortified, he grabbed the money and hurried away.

As he sat on the waiting room bench, he was in a quandary.  He had to get a ticket to Pittsburg, but he was too embarrassed to face the girl, again.  He didn’t know what to do.

As it happened, there was a priest sitting across from him.  When he noticed that the young soldier was in an obvious state of distress, he went over and said, “Son.  I noticed that you seem to be in some kind of difficulty.  If there’s anything I can do for you, I’ll be glad to help.”

The young soldier said, “Yes, Father.  I just got leave, and I want to go home to my family.  But when I went to buy my ticket to Pittsburg, I got all tongue-tied and wasn’t able to buy it.  And I’m too embarrassed to go back and try again.”

The priest said, “Well, I’ll tell you what.  You give me the money and I’ll buy it for you.  How does that sound?”

The young soldier was overjoyed.  “Thank you, Father.”  And he gave the priest the money.

The priest went to the ticket window and noticed that the girl’s blouse was cut so low that he could see part of her breasts.  He gave her the money and said, “I’d like a ticket to Pittsburg.”

The girl gave him the ticket and the change.

He started to walk away then thought better of it.  He turned back to the girl and said, “I feel that I would be shirking my holy duties if I didn’t counsel you on your lack of modesty.  I feel that I must warn you that if you continue to dress in such a immodest manner, when you get to those Pearly Gates, Saint Key won’t give you the peter.”

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